Why does trauma keep showing up in my relationship and how to heal it?

Greetings, and I’m Dr. Latifah Hameen here again. In the previous video, I talked about why trauma keeps showing up in relationships and how to start the healing. Triggers are a big issue, so today, I want to talk about

Triggers vs Reality. Sometimes, people might say “That was a trigger for me”, when they might mean they were annoyed or upset. A trigger is a specific concept: a stimulus that activates an automatic, unconscious nervous system response tied to a past threat that hasn’t been fully resolved.

The Reality of Triggers

• It’s not just being upset– It feels sudden, overwhelming, and disproportionate, pulling you into old memories or body sensations.

• It’s rooted in the past, and triggers are sensory reminders (body sensations, tones, emotions, and sounds that link to unresolved trauma or stress)
• When a trigger fires, your body reacts as if danger is present, even if you are safe. This can cause panic, anxiety, rage, flashbacks, and dissociation.

• Your brain is constantly predicting possible future events based on past experiences. A trigger is less about an external event and more about preparing your brain for a scenario it is anticipating.

Now, let me explain the difference between triggers and reality

Triggers vs. Reality

• Not all strong reactions are triggers. If the emotions you are feeling are related to the current situation and not tied to past unresolved threats, it’s an emotional response, not a trigger.
• When we use “ trigger” loosely, we can weaken its meaning and make the deeper nervous system and memory processes uncertain.
• We have to recognize that triggers are signals- not flaws- that can help in identifying and addressing the underlying issues rather than suppressing the reaction.

Lastly, I want to talk about how to respond when you are triggered.

• 1st, you want to recognize the signs (increased heart rate, sweating, sometimes in the palms of your hands, muscle tension that your nervous system is reacting to).

• Next, you want to ground yourself:Use sensory awareness exercises like Mindful Observation, Guided Sensory Meditation & Journaling to name a few.

• Identify the trigger and the emotions it ignited and don’t blame yourself or others.

• Work at getting to the root of it by working with therapy or self-reflection to process what the unresolved issue of the past might be. Sometimes we need help in figuring out how past traumas have caused this disruption.

Triggers are real and they activate powerful involuntary responses linked to past experiences. They are not the same as all strong emotions because the key difference is whether the reaction is tied to an unresolved threat and whether it feels unrelated to the current situation.— For instance, if someone says something simple to you and you go off and react irrationally, that’s a trigger. Understanding this distinction can help you respond more effectively and reclaim control over your emotional experience.

I hope this was helpful. Until next time. God Bless!